Theory vs. practice

Have you ever thought of how we learn a skill?

According to science (and everybody who have learned something), the best way to learn a skill is to do the work. We all know people who say that ‘I have been to this one-week course, I know how to do it.’

Do they?

No.

Theory is so different from reality. Those of you who are parents knew that raising a child is easy before you had them. You read the books and learned how to react in a situation. You were wondering what the heck the parents did wrong, they clearly had not read the books!

Then you had your own children. You tried your best to do exactly how the parenting book said. ‘Why does it not work?’ you were wondering (with a little humbler attitude than you had before). The book knowledge might have worked in some cases, but not all. You did all you can, but still your toddler threw embarrassing tantrums in the middle of grocery store.

Do not get me wrong, I am all for knowledge. I believe that more we know, better we get.

It is good to have the theory and in most cases, it helps to understand the situation and how we should behave or do. It is just sometimes so very hard to do the thing that the book says. Stay calm and do not engage when a toddler throws a tantrum.

So, what is wrong with me when I feel my jaw tightening along with anger and shame rising inside while watching my precious heir wriggling on the ground while people staring?

Nothing. It is a very normal reaction, and now I should stay calm and get the situation under control.

Yeah, not so easy.

However, when you look grandparents, they generally deal the situation irritatingly well. Naturally one thing is that they do not have to live with tantrums every day, but also, they have a huge experience advantage. They have done this hundreds of times with you and your siblings. They have done it wrong many times, but with time, they became better.

It is the same thing with any skill we have only theoretical knowledge so far.

We need to start applying the knowledge we learn in real life situation and surely, it will be like ‘stumble, learn, stumble, learn’. It does help to have the theoretical knowledge, but no matter how well you put it in practice, it just does not apply. There are always situations that are not explained in books, people do not act like in books and your situation is never exactly the same as explained on the books.

You just need to deal with it the best you can. First, second and tenth time you will stumble, but you start to learn to deal with the uncertainty and you learn to anticipate the things that seem to go wrong. After few years of experience, you start feeling more comfortable, you learn your way to put the theory in practice. Which might be different from how someone else does it.

What to do in a situation where you only have theory, but no practice?

First thing is to sit down and think. What do I really need and how I should do it. Not read how it is done in the book, but how I should do it with this unique situation of mine.

Sitting and thinking is so underrated at the moment, it seems that people are too busy to ‘waste’ their time in such a non-productive activity. However, as they say, well planned is half done. That I heard my whole life in Finland and it is very true. One of my bosses once said about me ‘I am glad someone in this company is thinking’.

But I have not always done that. I have just rushed to do and not think. That’s why I know that it is so very important to think and plan first. I have lost so much productive time doing stupid things and painfully realising later that if I stopped to think, I would have found that there is better way or things could have been done differently.

I am like a grandparent in science. I know from painful experiences how not to do things and they could be done better. Now that I do not do science anymore.

When you have been sitting and thinking, and thinking some more, you can ask someone. Other people have great ideas, all might not be applicable to your situation, but many are. Take their ideas and advise, think if it fits to your situation and apply it if it does.

We are often so stubborn that we think that we know the best, but I have noticed that humble attitude works wonders. I have learned it painfully and now I really listen and learn.

After devising the plan and possibly applying someone else’s wisdom, you are ready to dive headfirst into a new area. Prepare for damage, but do not let it discourage you. It is part of the process.

Trust that in few years you are much better in whatever you do. Keep the humble attitude and remember that you are still learning. Not theory anymore but practice.

And more you do, better you get.